Humility when it's hardest

Good evening lovely ladies,

I know it's been a couple of months since my last post. To be honest, I let the blog fall by the wayside and for that I'm sorry. A lot has been happening for me this summer: I decided not to return to Liberty in the fall (I will be working and taking online courses to finish my degree), I've been babysitting, I started healthy eating/working out, and most importantly, I have re-dedicated myself to grow in my faith. The last two things have happened in just in the last week! While endeavoring to dive into my walk with the Lord, I realized something: I am a control freak when it comes to my faith. Let me explain: I have always felt that I needed to "fix" myself before I come to God; that somehow I needed to improve before I could ask God for help. But my dear sweet friends, that is so not true! In fact, I cannot fix myself and neither can you. That's what Jesus does. He mends what is broken and He heals us. We cannot do that for ourselves. It is IMPOSSIBLE without Him; trust me, I've tried. Surrender is scary; you realize that you have to let go of the "control" you have on your life and let Him do His work on your heart. Sometimes I get anxiety just thinking about it. We as humans want to control things; we want to feel empowered, like we've got it all figured out. But, the beauty of a relationship with Jesus is that we DON'T have to have it all figured out; in fact, we will never have it all together, because we are flawed, imperfect beings. But, in order to surrender fully to Christ, we have to be humbled. Humility (from the word humble) is defined as "not proud or arrogant; modest". Think about that: to be truly humbled before God, we have to LET GO of our pride; we have to be vulnerable and raw before Him. He already knows everything about us but we have to be willing to admit it to Him. There is something incredibly freeing about admitting this; like a weight lifted off; because you're not trying to keep up the facade anymore, you can release the stigma of thinking you need to be perfect or that you need to mend yourself. Everyday, I'm learning that I have to be humble in order to feel the absolute power and freedom of Christ's love, grace, and forgiveness. So, this week, whatever you're struggling with, lay it at the Lord's feet; humble your heart before Him and surrender. You will never regret it. Have a great weekend and "always stay humble and kind."

Love, Mariah xoxo